Stevie

The only time Gill was ever really upset with me was the day I was born. I was a boy - another brother was not what she wanted. She tried her best to satisfy her desire for a sister - she would regularly dress me up as a girl, but in the end she just had to accept she had 2 brothers and make the best of it. 

 

Although I took on the role as annoying little brother quite easily, Gill was a patient and kind big sister indulging my obsession with my fisher price garage and playing with me without the usual older sibling moaning and as I grew a little older I’d spend time with her in her room, learning inappropriate stuff from her Jackie magazines and maybe more inappropriately, she would make me mark her friends out of ten for looks and personality.

 

After setting academic standards at school that Jonny and I were never going to live up to (or possibly even try to live up to) when I was 11 Gill left for uni. We didn’t spend much time together for a while after that - she’d tell me about her life in Brudenell Mount and it all seemed otherworldly. When I finally followed in her footsteps to Leeds and ended up living in Brudenell Mount I realised it was more third worldly. But Gill loved her time there - when she visited me at uni she would pop into her old house to relive her time there with friends that she still has today. 

 

And I think this is the key theme of Gill’s life - friendship. As she grew up her circle of friends, not distant acquaintances, but true dear friends, grew to a size that I could never keep up with. So many names, walks, book clubs, colleagues and so much going on that I admit I would sometimes nod and smile and pretend to know exactly who she was talking about. As well as that, she loved my friends, always talking about them and wanting to know how they were doing - bumping into them in Marks or Finchley Garden Centre was always a joy for Gill.

 

There were other sides to Gill of course - she was a worrier, she could worry about anything you could think of, but luckily for many happy years she had Andy by her side, calming her down and helping her make decisions she might agonise over. Andy was the love of her life, but Gill was so strong and resolute when Andy was ill, she pushed hard and fought for him every step of the way and it was amazing to see. 

 

And of course she had two beautiful kids Zak and Mia - both of them so clever, filling the academic void in Gill’s life that Jonny and I had left. They are both hardworking and were a great support to Gill and Andy when the going got tough but maybe most importantly they are Man City fans. Reflecting on this week, despite the sadness, it has been a real pleasure for me and Jonny to see Zak and Mia with their cousins, their joyful and deep relationships that will last for life. We cherish every moment we spend together and are thankful to Gill and Andy for making Zak and Mia who they are. 

 

Gill also had a strong bond with my parents, as the oldest child she had the responsibility of being the first to do everything and Jonny and I had an easier ride following in her footsteps. She perfectly blended the worry gene and the intellectual gene and she had a deep love and respect for both of them. She adopted their traditional Jewish values and made them proud in the way she built a strong community around her. 

 

Gill also had a love for her sisters-in-law Lucy, Mel and Carrie and nieces and nephews Jess, Seth, Izzi  Ella, Poppy and Alex. She took such pride in their achievements and when they have faced challenges she was there by our side, feeling the pains as acutely as if they were her kids and providing love and support throughout. You just knew that she would be there for you whenever you needed - she never asked for anything in return apart from the pleasure of your company.

 

When it comes to me, we had a lot in common, we loved reading and podcasts, and a chat over a cup of peppermint tea. But our biggest similarity was our utterly appalling sense of direction. A walk through local woodlands without Mel to guide could turn into a lengthy trek into the unknown, begging strangers for directions and worrying that we may not make it home before sunset. 

 

From my earliest days all my memories of Gill are of positivity and goodness and the connection that she, Jonny and I always shared. We were an unbreakable unit. I know we were lucky - not everyone has what we had - the closeness, comfort and openness between us was just a given, we always laughed and even when we had disagreements the idea of falling out seemed impossible. Which is why she will leave such a huge gap in our lives. 

 

However, I will try to focus on all the joy she brought us, all the goodness she had in her, try to forget all the terrifying car journeys when she was driving and remember Gill as our perfect big sister.